What if your confidence did not come from yourself, but from those around you?
You are considering changing careers, but you have doubts. Not about your skills. Not about your value. You wonder if anyone will trust you, if a recruiter will take you seriously, if you will be given a second chance. You believe these doubts are rational. They are often relational.
When changing careers, other people’s perceptions act as a filter. They can amplify your strengths or extinguish them. This is described by two opposing psychological effects: the Pygmalion effect and the Golem effect.
Pygmalion or Golem: what others expect of you impacts your ambitions
In 1968, psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson highlighted a silent but powerful phenomenon: our performance is influenced by the expectations that others project onto us.
When a teacher believes that a student will succeed, without even saying so, they unconsciously adapt their posture, attention and encouragement. And the student, even without realising it, stops making progress. This is known as the Pygmalion effect: positive expectations improve performance.
Conversely, when people doubt your abilities, and that doubt is palpable even without words, you limit yourself, you hesitate, you lose confidence. This is the Golem effect: negative expectations weaken performance.
These effects are widely documented in social psychology. They are not based on conscious intentions. They are triggered by gestures, glances, silences, and signs of tension. They have a profound effect on self-esteem and level of commitment.
In the context of a career change, these mechanisms are amplified. Why? Because you are entering a new world, without any reference points. Because you feel observed, evaluated, and often compared. Because you are much more dependent on the outside view than in a job you already master.
A Pygmalion effect in this context can change the course of a career. A simple validation (‘You have a really clear way of explaining that,’ ‘I feel you could go further in this area’) reignites the internal drive. Conversely, a repeated Golem effect (‘You know, it’s not for everyone,’ ‘You need a lot of background knowledge for that’) sets off a downward spiral.
We do not move forward or backward because we are incapable, but because the gaze of the other weakens or strengthens the signal to move forward.
Let us consider two concrete examples of retraining:
👉 Pygmalion effect: Alice, 38, is hesitant about becoming a trainer. During a workshop, a speaker tells her, ‘You ask very structured questions; we can tell you have a talent for teaching.’ This simple sentence triggers a feeling in her that she can do it. She enrols in training, applies for jobs, and moves forward.
👉 Golem effect: Jean, 52, a former sales representative, is aiming for a position as a mediator. During a career change interview, he is told: ‘You need a master’s degree for that, and it’s very technical.’ Nothing is said explicitly, but doubt is sown. Jean stops applying. He accepts that he doesn’t belong, without even trying.
These two examples show that it is not intention that changes everything. It is the silent projection of a possibility or a limitation. And in career change, these projections take on disproportionate weight.
We do not always doubt because we are weak. We doubt because we have been looked at with reserve for too long.
Sometimes all it takes is a glance to make you feel that you have the right to try.
Karim, 45, former delivery driver turned customer advisor: ‘When someone told me I had a natural gift for talking on the phone, I started to believe it. Before that, I’d never imagined I could do anything else. But someone made me feel like it was possible.’
Claire, 51, a nursing assistant who retrained as an activity coordinator: ‘They let me try. Just try. And that supportive attitude changed everything. I finally dared to do it.’
Their competence has not changed. What has changed is that it has been ‘seen’. Valuing someone is not about paying them compliments. It is about believing, even silently, that they have the resources to succeed.
Three levers to reinforce the Pygmalion effect
* Surround yourself with people who genuinely encourage you. Their confidence acts as a subtle but decisive trigger.
* Make a list of your past successes, even informal ones. Read them over as if you were your own coach.
* Dare to ask for feedback: a quality, a skill that people recognise in you. Bring it to life through their words.
Changing careers is not about convincing yourself. Sometimes it’s about receiving a subtle signal that reactivates what you could no longer see.
👉 Explore your appetences: pursuing your interests means entering into a Pygmalion framework. What you enjoy doing does not need to be justified. Pleasure is enough to make you who you are, without waiting for someone to give you permission.
